I know a man who is in love with his wife, daily renewable and incremental. As mystifying as this might sound I have seen it with my own eyes and can attest to the reality of it. It was an amazing and surreal experience to witness the affection he draped his wife with. I was dumbstruck. Where does this strange behavior come from, I asked myself. Is this some new deviant twist of the male gene pool that foretells another emerging evolutionary branch of man’s family tree? Let it not be so! If it is genetic, we can pray that it will only be an isolated one-off mutation.
But what if is a virus? I shudder. A pandemic of this nature would surely be a global ELE for marriage as we know it. There would be looting and panic and lawlessness and fear everywhere and humanity will have lost its core identity. Now would be the time to unleash the powerful weaponry of science and epidemiology. Have this man tested to determine what malicious virus has infected him and to locate its origin. Could it have been Mt. Elgon in Uganda where the deadly Marburg virus was discovered? I’m also thinking, if it is a virus, it may have been created in some sinister lab and either accidentally or purposefully unleashed on an unassuming public. Thank God that science will save us all.
Might there be a supernatural reason for this monstrous behavior? Witchcraft? Has this person been turned to this ridiculous behavior by nightly succubus visits? For a possession of this severity one would need an exorcism. Medieval but necessary. We need priests, lots of priests. Send in the ecclesiastical heavy weights. We need Max von Sydow.
This has to stop right here. But I’ll have more to say about this later.