My state of the art home alarm system created quite a stir around here today. The screen screamed LOW BATTERY-REPLACE. I knew the battery was needed for some of my alarm stations. How hard can it be to replace one? As it is, to call the company for something as simple as this is an insult to my manhood. Little did I know?
Challenge #1. Get the old battery out and get a new one. The written instructions said I needed a small Phillip’s screwdriver and a small needle nosed pliers with insulated handles. This did not bode well for a 78 year old man with hand tremors. I don’t do tiny. Nevertheless, I finally retrieved the battery but not without fumbling and frustration. The how-to pamphlet described the replacement as a 3.6 volt rechargeable battery. Arriving at my local battery outlet I am told that they also need the model number of the battery, which I didn’t have. Returned home, found the model number and, providentially, called the store, gave them the number and was told they didn’t have that in stock. Plan B always reverts the Big Online Store if I can’t find it locally. Which I couldn’t and which I did.
Challenge #2. After reinserting the new battery, also with fumbling and frustration, I eagerly anticipated the job well done notice from my alarm panel screen. Nope. The kind lady’s voice in the control panel reminded me once again that I have a low battery. I think she is getting impatient with me.
Challenge #3. Capitulate. Laying aside whatever masculine ego I may have had, I decided to get help. For me to get help in this wondrous technological age, which somehow requires an MIT degree or a third grader (I’m flexible), I have to prepare myself with either prayer or valium. I always choose prayer. Here therein is the litany of my online attempt. A. Find my computer: B. Get online and find my alarm systems website. C. Enter my password for this website. D. Find the “help icon”. [RE: “help icon” I’ll have more to say about this later.] E. Chat with an AI virtual agent. [“Chat”: Ditto above.] F. Chat with a live agent. G. After fiddling with F it was decided I needed to talk with a qualified technician via phone call…oh boy, I get to actually use speech. Communication, what hath thy wrought? Technician phoned and fixed my problem in less than a minute. The progression was address the hardware, hook up with the software, locate my vendor, chat with AI, chat with real person, and talk with technician. I am certain that my experience is unique.
As noted in an earlier post, giving thought to the little things in life often stimulates insights into broader and more meaningful understandings. For example, my heretofore mentioned adventure with home alarms spawned some thinking about Technology and Dependence and Humanity. I’ll have more to say about this later.